I Ain't A Doll

polka dot blouse from Express, pencil skirt from Banana Republic, patent skull flats by Loeffler Randall, onyx heart necklace from Tiffany & Co.

Off to work in the summer heat! Click for larger photos.

London’s Fashion’s Night Out, Here I Come!

cream belted jacket by Guess, crochet skirt from Wet Seal, brown sandals from The Walking Company, Lacoste polo

I just realized that we will be in London on Sept. 8, which is when they are having Fashion’s Night Out! Hmm, do you think I’ll be able to get in line early enough at Chanel to get a free manicure featuring their new Khaki polishes? Pray for my poor unsuspecting husband.

Paper Bag Top, Platform Sandals

shirt by Free People, shorts by Calvin Klein, shoes by Miss Sixty, leather cuff from Shopbop

A summer casual outfit for your weekend! I love any excuse to wear these platform shoes, they make me uber-tall and are comfortable for about four hours. Then they must come off. Which I learned the hard way when I took them to Vegas.

The Style of Strength

Angelina Jolie. Linda Hamilton. Sigourney Weaver. Jada Pinkett-Smith. Hilary Swank. Milla Jovovich. Michelle Rodriguez.

These actresses portray my movie tough-chick heroes. Their alter-egos will beat up any alien, assassin, or whining rom-com character and look beautiful doing it. I admire them. I wish I could be them. They’ve got brains, brawn, and style that doesn’t stop. Here are some commonalities in their fashion choices:

• Bare arms. Sleeves get in the way and you’ve gotta show the bad guys that you, and your biceps, mean business.

• Leather. There’s no room for rayon in the near, possibly post-apocolyptic future. The extra layer of skin protects against zombie bites and stray sword cuts.

• Aviator sunglasses. Because you can shoot a Remington 870 Police Combat Gun with Folding Stock and pilot a helicopter…at the same time.

• Short hair. A shaved head is even better, and if it’s long, it’s always pulled back and outta the way.

• Tall boots. Footwear separates the warriors from the damsels. Boots are a requirement for soldiers, both male and female.

• Black clothing. Perfect for hiding in the shadows before delivering some justice and saving the world.

Have I missed anything, my friends?

Trendy Taupe

Rimmel London's Steel Grey nail polish

This Is Not A Boyfriend Shirt

button up shirt by Calvin Klein, cropped plaid pants by BCBG, heels by Charles David, necklace by Deka Ray

Wearing stripes with plaid again. And a normal button-up, three-quarter sleeve shirt.

Calvin Klein Parma

Have you ever been talked into buying a shoe online? Not by your friends or by a glossy magazine, but just because of glowing reviews you read on the internet?

My case study today is the Calvin Klein Parma shoe from 2009. This shoe’s good reviews ran far and wide. Zappos alone had almost 50 reviewers rating them 5 stars and raving about how comfortable they were, how they own them in three colors, how they danced all night in them, etc., etc.

Hmmm. Looks pretty. Amazing range of colors and textiles. Sturdy heel. Platform turns a 4.5 inch heel into 3.5. Doable. $120? No thanks.

But this shoe lingered on in my mind, like so many do. I visited it once in a while.

One day I encountered Parma in person, at DSW. They weren’t in my size, but I tried them on and tripped around the store, feeling like a giant. I took them off and thanked God that I had never bought them. They were way too high, and I couldn’t think of any place I’d wear them. I felt a sense of relief.

I wish the story ended there, my friends. However, eBay is a proven weakness of mine. And I shouldn’t have even been looking. But when I did, and I saw them there, new, in my size, for $40, it was all over. With no competing bids, these non-returnable wonder shoes were on their way to me.

I regretted my purchase soon after they arrived and I put them on. Why did I ignore my DSW test-walk? What was wrong with all those girls who wrote such faithful reviews of praise?

It’s not that these shoes aren’t comfortable. I guess they are. But they are so steep, my foot becomes vertical in them, and since this shoe has no back, I become a deformed bent-kneed AT-AT walker*, clop-clopping around as my heel smacks the insole with every step.

Sadly, this is where my story ends. Parma has never been worn out in public. They look so cool and strappy as they sit in my closet. I have hope that someday, I’ll be able to wear them, like with a Halloween costume or something. Maybe I could go as a Fashion Victim.

*gratuitous Star Wars reference