What’s the Point of the 5th Pocket?

All of my jeans, except my denim leggings, are what they call “5-Pocket”. You know, two front pockets, two back pockets, and then a tiny little “bonus” pocket inside one of the front pockets. Whose idea was this, and more importantly, why? This must be a major selling point, because there is hardly a pair of denim out there that doesn’t boast this feature.
So I thought I’d come up with some ways to put that little pocket to use. Like, for example:

1. When you’re standing around waiting for the bus in your 5-pocket jeans, look cool by sticking a finger or two in that little pocket. Now strike a pose, and don an “I like my fifth pocket and I don’t care who knows it!” attitude.
2. Carry around little tiny items that would get lost in your other four, larger pockets. Like earring backs, ticket stubs, cat treats, or lipstick. OK, never mind about the lipstick, that will hurt when you sit down.
3. To keep yourself smelling nice, put some loose potpourri in it. That will last a lot longer than any perfume.
4. When you’re at some event where you have to wear an annoying clip-on pass, don’t clip it onto your shirt, handbag, or coat. Be a rebel and clip it into that fifth pocket where it will be secure and out of your way.
5. Finally, this fifth pocket is the perfect place to keep cash if you’re walking in a dangerous neighborhood, ATM pin numbers, or any other secret information you need. No one EVER checks the fifth pocket!

So, my friends, there are some ways to get the most out of that little front pocket. May they serve you well.